I’m not sure when it begins, but we have all worried about what others think of us. I know that I have fallen victim to this many times throughout my life. The lesson that I learned is that it’s a complete waste of my time to spend any energy on it. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be liked or respected but rather that is out of my control. Never in my life have I changed someone’s beliefs, only they have the power to do that. Here are three powerful ways to stop worrying about what others think about you.
Be True To Yourself
You know who you are better than anyone else in the world. People have thoughts and opinions on what is best for you. In fact, many of them are those closest to you, but the truth is no one knows what you are feeling. I said earlier that I have never changed someone’s beliefs and that is true, but that does not give us a pass to not be the best version of ourselves. If you are true to your core values, then you have nothing to worry about.
Mind Your Own Business
“Just a reminder, what other people think of you is none of your business”. That anonymous quote has always stayed with me and been a healthy reminder to stop asking people what they think of me. We are in control of our own feelings, just as your neighbor or sister are responsible for theirs. An example is if your neighbor doesn’t like your yellow Corvette, that’s his business not yours. Your sister doesn’t like your haircut, that is her business not yours, it’s your hair not hers.
It’s Not About You
The biggest revelation and life altering idea is that what others think is not about you. People project their own critical opinions or feelings about themselves and place on you. The definition of projection according to Psychology Today is “the process of displacing one’s feelings onto a different person, animal, or object”. Have you ever come home from work and your spouse lays into you about the fact you didn’t take out the trash and are lazy. He or she had a tough day and is projecting their anger on to you. We are all guilty of this from time to time. It is also why their opinion has nothing to do with you and was probably a fleeting feeling anyway.
People want to be accepted and liked by others. That is human nature and a good thing for us to want. However, worrying about what others think does not help being liked or accepted. We are terrible judges about what people think anyway. Spend that energy giving the world the best version of you. People will appreciate it and you will have a whole lot more fun in the process!